The tiny little thing called Love

Admitted, it is difficult. When you have to wake up a hundred times in the night, to feed, or to change a nappy, or sometimes simply to soothe your crying infant. After having done it once, why would anyone want to go through all of it again?

In Granny's arms

Whether your delivery was normal or c-section, there is a certain amount of fatigue involved post delivery. It definitely doesn't get better when you can't sleep through the night; the reason being a crying infant. Is that really so bad? Where is the reward then?

I look at my Saee now, and I feel that I didn't enjoy her infancy much. I was post-natal depressed, young, without anyone of my age having gone through the same thing who could tell me that everything that was happening was normal (I was the first in my group of friends to have gotten married and have a baby). Everytime she cried, I thought something serious was happening to her. It took me a while to bond with her, and understand that all babies cry, it's the only thing they can do. Saee taught me what it meant to be a mother.

Massage time

With Sayalee things are somewhat different. Of course she cries, all the time. She keeps me up through the night too. But with it there is also the knowledge that this phase in her life is so fleeting. She will be so utterly helpless only for a month or two. This phase in her life is never coming back. Once she gears up for the new world (the one outside the comforting environment of the womb), there will be no looking back. There should be no looking back.

When finally she grows up, there will be the sweet and comforting feeling that she will have eyes, ears and heart only for me. That these days and nights will be rewarded one day when she throws her arms around me and kisses me and tells me that she loves me. They will be rewarded when she comes running into my arms from school and is eager to tell me everything that happened in school that day. The reward will come when my daughters grow up and are more friends to each other than sisters. And when both regard me as their best friend and confidant.

Those are the rewards worth waiting for.